Sometimes when I think of the past (for example, now), I read those last words which transform into a sharp knife that stabs into my heart and cuts through my soul.  Then I focus on reading and writing in German/English/sometimes Chinese to distract myself from the throbbing pain.  I know, warum martere ich mich, but this is the approach I take to numb my feelings. (This might not be the case, but loving someone who loathes you is totally meaningless and illogical.)  Comparing with people who indulge themselves in drugs, alcohol or trashy TV shows, I suppose my method is way better.  After all, what can knowledge do to harm me?  Plus I'm super looking forward to my coming Christmas trip and language course next year, so I really should be thankful for being encouraged to learn German.  Maybe I will never figure out why things changed, but I think I can manage to figure out German.  Mastering it might take years or even decades, memories of the nice old time will eventually fade away by then (how sad, my fault but not my choice, that was not my decision), but this language is going to be something that will last and not be taken away from me.  It might even help me find what I've always been looking for and once thought I had.  Therefore I can never thank my God-sent angel enough.  

So here it goes, my German study today, an article that talks about Das Böse in uns.

文章出處:  http://www.spiegel.de/sptv/dokumentation/a-749044.html

Warum ermordet (murdered) eine Mutter ihr eigenes Kind? Wie erklären Psychiater das Phänomen "Kannibalismus"? Was verbindet die so genannten "Homo-Morde" an Sedlmayr und Moshammer? Und was unterscheidet sie? Wieso (how come) kommen so viele Sexualstraftäter neuerdings auf freien Fuß? Was steckte hinter dem Satanisten-Mord?

Kann tatsächlich der Teufel (devil) in einen Menschen hineinfahren? Und wie werden solche Intensivtäter in forensischen Psychiatrien behandelt? Bekommen Prominente wie Jörg Kachelmann oder die HIV-infizierte No-Angels-Sängerin Nadja Benaissa einen fairen Prozess? Sind Medien heutzutage gut oder böse? Wie "gut" (oder böse?) ist die Kirche? Wer ist Opfer (victim), wer Täter (culprit)? 

"Der Keim (seed) des Bösen steckt in jedem von uns", sagt Sabine Rückert, Gerichtsreporterin der ZEIT, und steht mit dieser Meinung nicht alleine dar. Wie "normal" ist das Böse? Und warum überrascht (surprise) es uns immer wieder? Der Fall Mirco hat es uns gerade wieder einmal auf grausige Art vor Augen geführt: Wie aus heiterem (cheerful) Himmel begehen Menschen, denen man es auf den ersten Blick nie zutrauen würde, schlimmste Verbrechen - und niemand kann sie davon abhalten (keep off).

Zu Wort kommen neben Gerichtsgutachtern (court expert) und forensischen Psychiatern wie der österreichischen Fritzl-Gutachterin Dr. Heidi Kastner oder Dr. Nahlah Saimeh, Ärztliche Direktorin am Westfälischen Zentrum für Forensische Psychiatrie in Lippstadt-Eickelborn, u. a. SPIEGEL-Gerichtsreporterin Gisela Friedrichsen, der pensionierte (pensionary/retired) Richter Dr. Heinrich Gehrke, der u. a. Monika Weimar endgültig (ultimate/final) für schuldig (guilty) des Mordes an ihren eigenen Töchtern befand, der ehemalige Chefredakteur (chief editor) der BILD, Hans-Hermann Tiedje, die Polizei-Ermittler und Bestseller-Autoren Josef Wilfling und Stephan Harbort sowie der Geistliche (priest), Autor und Rockmusiker Abtprimas Notker Wolf, der sich zu dem theologischen Konzept des Bösen äußert (say/express/voice).

Außerdem exklusiv: Der Fall Dagobert - rund 20 Jahre nach der großen Karstadt-Erpressung äußern sich erstmals beide Protagonisten von einst (once/past): Arno Funke, alias Dagobert, und der Hamburger Polizeiführer, der ihn damals jagte: Mike Daleki. Letzterer berichtet überhaupt erstmals im Fernsehen über die Details einer der spektakulärsten (the most spectacular) Erpressungen (extortion) der deutschen Kriminalgeschichte .

In der vierstündigen Dokumentation über "Das Böse nebenan" geht SPIEGEL TV der Frage nach, warum scheinbar normale Menschen plötzlich unfassbare Straftaten begehen. 

[德文亂亂寫] Der Titel interessiert mich.  Ich verstehe den Inhalt der TV-sendung nicht wirklich.  Aber ich denke, dass es eine gute Weise ist, meine Hörverständnis zu trainieren.  Außerdem ist es immer lustig, die Wörter im Wörterbuch nachzuschlagen.(→ Yes, that's the nerd in me speaking!)

[小豆碎碎念] So, are bad people born or made?  Is evil a natural or nurtured character trait? According to Mencius, the first scholar in Chinese history who asserted that all men are born with predisposition for good thoughts while another famous philosopher, Xunzi, believed that the nature of man is evil; his goodness is only acquired training.  For me, it is more like the two sides of the same coin.  I think we are born with both innate goodness and the tendency towards evil and our external environment plays a major part in developing our characters.  If we are constantly exposed to negative thoughts, our personality will be affacted accordingly.  This notion somehow prompts me to reflect on my own conducts.  Am I a bad influence on others?  Do I bring out the worst in others because I can sometimes be very mean and unloving?  I certainly don't want to be surrounded with pessimists or vicious minds, so in order for me to avoid this, I really need to exert the goodness within me.  I am aware of my flaws and imperfections but I need to believe that I am naturally good since according to the Bible  we are all created in the image and likeness of God.  It's a matter of will.  I can unleash my selfishness and self-indulgence and let them go wild or I can learn to strengthen my self-control.  I thank those who help me notice the ungodliness in me.  I thank them for giving me the opportunity to repent of my sins.  Self-correction is crucial in becoming good.  There is no doubt I am born partially böse, but I know I am capable of loving others.  And I believe that love conquers all.  Love will defeat the wickedness in me.  Love is the best thing in der ganzen Welt! (誰快來阻止我這愛把英文德文混在一起造句的壞習慣><)  Now I just need to find somebody who loves me dearly to love (besides my family and friends :D)

I was once told to be a Facebook addict.  Back then I denied this accusation.  But now I have to admit that it did have a great influence on me and my life.  I thought my motivation was justifiable .  I just wanted to share my thoughts with my friends, to keep the connection.  Then something happened and broke this habit of mine.  And I realized that what I thought okay was totally unnecessary.  It's really nice to have friends who care about your feelings and show their concerns.  Those friends stick to you through thick and thin, with or without Facebook.  Of course I still have a facebook account, but now I limit it to only a certain number of friends.  They are people I feel comfortable talking to.    People who don't judge me merely by my words  becasue they know the real me.  People who give me great advice when I face problems.  Who support me when I feel lost and depressed.  It's like my blogging as well.  Through my writing, I reorganize my ideas and try to express myself more clearly.  Sometimes people agree with me, sometimes they correct my negative thoughts.  I like this way of communication.  Let people who care voice out their thinkings.  They might bring along inspiration and enlightment.  Through others' minds I can visualize a even bigger world.  Through their eyes I see my blind spots.  But in the end, everything has its upside and downside.  Now I understand the importance of using these means more wisely. No, I refuse to be a facebook addict.  But I am definitely addicted to warm friendship.  I am addicted to love and humanity.  Facebook and blog are tools, not drugs!!!  They are outlets for my emotions and my notions.  They are not the sources of my happiness; my family, my friends and my future Liebling are!  

所以寫網誌和寫日記的差別在於，除了抒發心情，還可以多聽聽別人的看法。因為本人超級固執，容易活在自己的世界，有的時候需要有不同的聲音來顛覆自己也許不是那麼正確的想法。Facebook也好，部落格也好，只是一種管道，適度的讓別人認識你，也許可以幫助自己更瞭解自己。(P.S. 還有練習寫作也是不錯的附加價值....啦!)

I want to thank my friend, Christine, for the great talk this morning.  I love my friends!!!

This is not the genre of literature I usually read.  But it turns out to be a really interesting book!!!  Guess the power of love is incredibly great.  It opens your mind and gives you different perspectives.  Inspires you, motivates you and propels you to move forward.  One is considered lucky to have experienced such love.  It might take quite some time, but I will try my best to finish reading it! lol  Plus, scholars somehow sound alike.  Reading it triggers a familiar feeling and I sorta like that!

"A general "law of least effort" applies to cognitive as well as physical exertion.  The law asserts that if there are several ways of achieving the same goal, people will eventually gravitate to the least demanding course of action.  In the economy of action, effort is a cost, and the acquisition of skill is driven by the balance of benefits and costs.  Laziness is built deep into our nature." (Page 35) 

--- I can't agree more!!!!

"Those who avoid the sin of intellectual sloth could be called "engaged."  They are more alert, more intellectually active, less willing to be satisfied with superficially attractive answers, more skeptical about their intuitions." (Page 46) 

-- This reminds me of someone sooo much!!!

"Speaking of a woman he dislikes, he says, "Her favorite position is besides herself, and her favorite sport is jumping to conclusions."...Jumping to conclusions is efficient if the conclusions are likely to be correct and the costs of an occasional mistake acceptable, and if the jump saves much time and effort.  Jumping to conclusions is risky when the situation is unfamiliar, the stakes are high, and there is no time to collect more information.  There are circumstances in which intuitive errors are probable, which may be prevented by a deliberate intervention of system 2." (Page 79) 

-- I tend to be one of those who jump to conclusions, but I am willing to compromise and learn to be more cautious if I know the stake is high!!!  Habits can't be changed overnight, but practice makes perfect!

 文章出處: http://www.bild.de/news/ausland/tiere/loewin-frisst-antilope-und-adoptiert-junges-26610824.bild.html

Ich habe eine interessante Nachricht auf Internet gelesen.  Ist es nicht wahr, dass Leben ist voller Konflikten? Sometimes it's difficult to hate those who had been so nice to you, even though you feel mistreated. I think that lioness either wants to save the youngster for a later meal, or she is really desperate be a mom!

(P.S. 親愛的大家，有發現我寫錯的，快快叫我訂正!!!不然我一直在亂亂寫...哈哈哈><)

Estelle: Listen to me, I know I let you down, and maybe you don't think I deserve your forgiveness, but you're gonna give it to me anyway. Because when you love someone you love all of them, that's the job. 'm so sorry, and now please you gotta love everything about them not just the good things but the bad things too, the things that you find loveable and the things you don't find loveable.

Edgar: Shh... shh... I understand, I'll never leave you.

Estelle: I wanted to tell you the truth! 

Edgar: Unfortunately, the truth makes everything else seem like a lie. 

Reed Bennett: You don't keep inklings to yourself! You share them! You're like hey guy, I got an inkling you're headed for a fall here! That's what friends do, that's common knowledge, it's in the damn handbook! 

Reed Bennett: That's what I'm doing here. Because apparently everyone and their mother felt that way but nobody had the guts to tell me. And now, I'm left with some stupid ring and an empty closet and an ache in my gut the size of Texas because nobody told me. 

Reed Bennett: No, it is no good. And I can't let that happen. Because this girl, she is great! She's like... like sunshine. Everything is better when she's there. I can't stand the idea of some jerk hurting her, I just can't. I can't. 

Rumi (the poet):

“The way of love is not a subtle argument. 
The door there is devastation. 
Birds make great sky-circles of their freedom. 
How do they learn it? 
They fall, and falling, they're given wings.”

文章出處：http://www.moviepilot.de/movies/96-hours

Bryan Mills (Lian Neeson), ehemaliger Topagent der Regierung, hat sich nach Los Angeles zurückgezogen, um in der Nähe seiner Ex-Frau Lenore (Famke Janssen) und ihrer gemeinsamen Tochter Kim (Maggie Grace) zu wohnen.  Vergeblich bemüht er sich um Kontakt zu der verwöhnten Siebzehnjährigen, die in einer Welt des Luxus lebt, seit Lenore einen Geschäftsmann geheiratet hat.

Unter dem Druck von Leonore stimmt Bryan einer Europareise seiner Tochter zu.  Kim fliegt mit ihrer Schulfreundin Amanda nach Paris, wo die beiden Teenager kurz nach ihrer Ankunft in die Fänge von Menschenhändlern gelangen, die systematisch die Aufenthaltsorte junger Touristinnen sondieren.

Bryan muss das brutale Kidnapping am Telefon hilflos mit anhören.  Ihm bleiben nur 96 Stunden, seine Tochter aus den Fängen der international operierenden Schlepperorganisation zu befreien, bevor sie für immer verschwindet...

Mom REALLY worries about my trip in December after watching this movie...

haha!

(Honestly, I WORRY, too. But shhhh, she doesn't need to know...)

BTW, this is a really cool, totally action-packed film with a great message - women trafficking is cruel, immoral, disgusting and sick!!! Whoever is doing this, be aware, someone is coming after ya!

The smallest thing chan change your life.

In the blink of an eye, 

something happens by chance,

when you least expect it...

set you on a course that you never planned...

into a future you never imagined.

Where will it take you?

That's the journey of our lives.

Our search for the light.

But sometimes...

finding the light means you must pass through the deepest darkness.

Leo: "Life's all about moments of impact and how they change our lives forever. But what if one day, you could no longer remember any of them?"

Leo: "The truth is we're sum of all the moments we've experienced with all the people we've ever known -- and these moments become our history."